So many of our everyday decisions are based on our worries of what others might think of us.
What will my colleagues think if I spoke out? How is this dress going to make me look? Are those people talking behind my back? How will my boss react if I challenge his idea? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me?
I could go on and on with questions like these, that suck all our positive energy. But honestly, it’s absolutely exhausting. Our constant fear of people’s judgement is draining.
It’s time to stop worrying about what others think of you.
Nobody Really Cares
The other day on my commute to work I looked around the train and every single person was on their phone. I realized that in today’s “technology-crazed” society, nobody actually has time in their busy schedule to think for more than a brief second about you.
Believe it or not, we’re not that special. Yet we spend so much of our energy worrying about how others might be judging us. The truth is that everyone is doing the exact same thing. Nobody is actually paying that much attention to what your are doing, let alone what you look like.
And when we do have a second to get our thoughts straight, we’re too busy thinking about ourselves—not others.
You Can’t Please Everyone
What I’ve learned is that you will never be able to please everyone. No matter what we do or how we treat people, there will always be some that choose to judge us for who we are.
When I started this blog, I didn’t know what direction it would take or whether anyone would read it. I know that people judge me for starting a blog, for following my truth and for sharing my thoughts with the world.
There are people who have supported me from the beginning and there are others who think it’s a complete waste of time.
My point: You will never be able to please everyone, so why not express how you truly feel?
Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen when someone is judging you or what you’re doing. I guarantee that chances are—nothing will happen. Absolutely nothing. No one is going to go out of their busy lives to confront us, or even react for that matter. Because as I mentioned before, no one actually cares.
So how do you stop worrying about what others think of you?
Here are 4 ways you can start reclaiming your freedom today:
1. Know Your Values
Think about what your core values are and what you want your life to look like. Following your life vision and the path to finding your why will help you shift positive energy towards the things that fulfill you.
Follow your passion and do what you love! And if you don’t know what you’re passionate about, go and find out! Try a creative new activity, start a blog, pursue a side hustle, dance in the kitchen, start an art project, build something, or go play outside. You’ll be amazed at how happy and free you feel when you spend time doing what you love instead of worrying about what other people think!
2. Start From A Place Of Love
When people judge you they are doing so from a place of fear. Everyone has insecurities and people often try to mask their own shortcomings by releasing judgement on someone else. You need to realize this and replace fear with love. What does that look like?
Instead of worrying about what others think of you, ask people questions. Get to know their story. In your conversations, let go of your judgement (of yourself and them) and simply inquire about them. Asking people more sincere, curious questions about themselves will help you feel more centered.
Leading from a place of love by showing that you are interested in the other person will help you feel more connected. And connection is really all we want!
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3. Surround Yourself With Positivity
It’s been said that we are the average of the five people we hang out with the most. When we start to attract and associate with the same people that share our weaknesses —we’re stuck. We stop growing, because there’s no one to challenge us to be better.
I encourage you to surround yourself with people who lift you up and motivate you to be the best version of yourself. Surround yourself with people who are self-assured and live life without compromising their core values.
Last summer I spent a weekend with some friends at a beautiful log cabin in the woods. No cell phone service, no pressure, no fear. It was amazing. We had honest conversations about our dreams, visions and goals. We also spent time in silence reading or going on solo paddleboard rides. Positive energy was all around us and it made me realize just how important it is to surround yourself with positive people.
4. Travel Alone
If you ever get the chance to travel alone. Do it. You will be forced to leave your comfort zone, meet strangers who will turn into friends and learn to make decisions alone. Traveling alone gives you a certain level of anonymity. You arrive in a new country where you don’t know anyone. Yes, this might sound scary at first, but think about it… you have a chance to reclaim your freedom! You can BE yourself and nobody will judge you for it. No one you meet will have prior judgements of you (and you won’t have any of them).
Check out my post on 10 Important Lesson That Traveling The World Teaches You to realize just how enlightening traveling can be.
I hope this post will help you realize that worrying about what others think of you is pointless. You will never be able to please everyone so why not try to lead from a place of love instead of fear and worry. Surround yourself with positive people and never be afraid to live your truth.
Lastly, always remember that your raw, authentic self is the most beautiful thing about you.