Life gets busy, am I right?
I don’t need to list all the things that take up our time, but I do have the urge to discuss the importance of date nights (or mornings!) with you.
If I’m going to be completely honest here, date nights have been on the back burner in our relationship.
Since moving to Switzerland my boyfriend and I have been on less date nights then I’d like to admit. There’s no excuse for it really, but moving abroad with a one-way ticket has brought some different challenges into our life, resulting in our date nights becoming nearly non-existant.
Expat life with a twist has brought on many changes in our relationship. For one thing, we uprooted our whole life, everything we have known in our relationship, to move half way around the world. We left the comfort zone of our relationship.
We both had to find work, a place to live, and a gym where we could continue our training. We had to set up our healthcare and bank accounts. We’ve had to make new friends and deal with missing those back home.
Our work days are longer here and we see each other less. Our schedules are often completely opposite each others and we go for days with only seeing each other in bed. As in… I get home and my boyfriend is already sleeping. In the morning, he leaves early before I’m up.
We’ve started this ritual where my boyfriend comes back into bed after breakfast to snuggle with me for a while before he leaves for work. I’m usually still half asleep, but those 10 minutes every morning mean the world to me.
So why am I sharing all this with you?
Because I want you to know that no matter what challenges you face, or where you live in the world, or how long you’ve been dating, creating time for regular date nights should be at the top of everyone’s priority list.
Here are 5 of my biggest reasons why I plan to initate more date nights again:
1. It’s An Opportunity For Romance
There’s a big difference between going out for the evening and going out on a date. Date night is a night out with your sweetheart. It’s not just a night out of the house because you didn’t feel like cooking and decided to go grab dinner somewhere instead.
Date night is a state of mind more than an activity.
It’s about the meaning you make of your time together, whatever you do. Whether simple or elaborate, taking a walk through your neighbourhood, going out to the theatre, going for brunch, seeing a movie or just having coffee. Date night says, oh, right, we’re a “couple” when too often it can seem that you’re simply business partners or roommates or team players getting through the daily grind together.
Date night is a chance to look across the table and see the person you fell in love with, not the person who left the bed unmade or forgot to take out the trash.
2. It’s About Fun
This one is simple! Date nights are all about having fun and forgetting about our endless to do lists. It’s about laughing and loving.
The fun thing about date nights is the novelty of them. Surprise your loved one with a weekend getaway or just a quiet dinner at a new restaurant. It can actually be really fun thinking of new date ideas too!
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3. It’s A Show Of Commitment
Date night shows a willingness to make the other person and your relationship a priority by setting aside special time. Do you remember when you first started dating and everything was brand new? When you could just look at each other and instantly get butterflies in your stomach.
When my boyfriend surprises me with a date night or a bouquet of flowers it makes me feel like a priority.
When you’ve been dating for a while your relationship ‘settles’ into a strong, committed relationship. But just because you’ve been dating for a while doesn’t mean you no longer have to put effort into your relationship. Relationships just like individuals are constantly evolving and especially during times of change, say like a move abroad, a career change, or having a baby, you should still set aside quality time to focus on your relationship.
Just like a plant. If you want your relationship to continue growing then you need to nurture it!
4. It’s A Break From Doing
Date nights are about connecting and enjoying each other’s company. They are not about getting things done.
They are definitely not about discussing your household chores or writing your grocery shopping list. I’m totally guilty of this one!
Yes, you should be able to have difficult conversations or talk about finances with your partner, but a date night is not the time and place for it. Save it for later!
Ask these questions instead:
What is one dream I can help you achieve?
What can I do for you this week to make your life easier?
Who is someone that inspires you?
What is your favourite thing about our relationship?
We all get into our daily routine and date night sometimes fall to the wayside. I totally get it. Life gets crazy.
So next time you do plan a date night, schedule it in your calendar or write it on a sticky note and hang it on the fridge if you have to!
Make it part of your routine, like getting dressed in the morning and brushing your teeth. I challenge you to plan a fun date night and fall in love with dating again, no matter how busy your life gets!
How often do you and your partner go on a date night? What are some of the struggles you face with making date nights happen? Money? Time? Lack of ideas?
I’d love to hear your thoughts below.