It’s time to talk finances with your partner! I know you are probably cringing right now. But anyone who’s in a committed relationship should talk to their partner about finances on a regular basis.
I totally understand that talking about money might not be your idea of a fun date night, but being on the same page regarding your finances will save you from many hassles throughout life.
Money is one of the top reasons cited for divorce so the sooner you learn how to openly discuss your finances together, the more likely your relationship will be on solid ground.
Yes, if you are not used to talking about money with your partner this might be an awkward experience at the beginning. The first step is always the hardest but finances are a lifelong conversation and there is no better time to start then now!
By opening up the lines of communication about finances, you’re not only going to be saving money but also strengthening your relationship.
Money has definitely become a bigger topic of discussion in our relationship since moving abroad. Talking finances with my boyfriend has allowed our relationship to grow.
It has also brought us closer together.
Knowing that your partner and you are both on the same page regarding finances builds trust. Even if you don’t have a shared bank account, you still pay household bills, rent, car payments and other expenses together.
Learning to talk about money openly and honestly will benefit your relationship and help you reach your shared life goals. Even as a 20-something year old (lets face it.. closer to thirty) I’ve realized how important it is to have these conversations!
So here are my 4 best tips on how to talk finances with your partner:
1. Choose the right time
Choosing the right time to talk about finances with your partner is half the battle. You and your partner have to be in the right mindset to have a conversation about your shared financial goals.
For example, don’t ambush them the minute they come through the front door after a long day at work. Now is NOT the time. I also wouldn’t suggest talking about money in bed right before sleeping. This is your time to unwind.. not worry about money!
Instead, try having a conversation about money on neutral ground, like while out on a walk or at a coffee shop. If you want more privacy then the living room is a great place.
I also suggest giving your partner a heads up. Let them know that you would like to talk about finances with them sometime that week. This gives them time to think about what their financial struggles, goals and ambitions look like. Since you’ve had time to prepare yourself, it’s only fair that your partner does too!
2. Be honest with each other about your finances
I think honesty is so important when it comes to finances. Even if you are not sharing your money yet, I think it’s crucial to be transparent with your financial situation so it doesn’t come back as a problem later on. Talk about your overall financial picture including your credit and your debt and lay everything out so that you are both aware of each others financial obligations.
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3. Focus on shared goals
When talking about money with your partner it’s important to talk about your goals and ambitions regarding your finances, particularly around improving your finances together as a team.
Whether your shared financial goal is to buy a house, go back to graduate school, have a baby or travel the world, it’s important to focus and discuss these goals.
Having a joint focus will help you develop a financial plan to get there. Try to put some time on the calendar once a month to budget as a team. This could include talking about your spending for the next month, any major expenses coming up and your savings and investment goals.
Talking about money can actually be fun if you are motivating each other to reach your shared goals.
Remember, you are in this together!
4. Don’t judge your partner
Money says a lot about who we are and what’s important to us. Budgeting, loans, debt, financial goals… this is the important stuff they don’t talk about in school and it’s possible that you and your partner are in different financial situations.
Maybe one of you hase been saving like crazy since the age of 20. Maybe one of you went to university and has student loans. Maybe one of you didn’t have their parents pay for school and although you have no debt, you haven’t had years to save up money. Point being that everyone has different financial situations and that’s okay.
What happened in the past has happened.
There’s no point in feeling resentment or judging your partner based on the past. Instead, focus on building your future together.
Make time for this and work together as a team!
What are your tips for talking about finances with your partner? How do you achieve shared financial goals? Please let me know in the comments below!
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